The “Waffle House” Thanksgiving; “Quiet Time” the day before Thanksgiving until January 2 every year

Recently my wife expressed concern that I didn’t join her and her family for the Miller Thanksgiving, a tradition I have passed on for many years. It genuinely bothers here and yet I have my reasons. I reminded her why a quiet Thanksgiving at a Waffle House, or alone reading a book and eating a turkey sandwich is important to me. I know this sounds strange, doesn’t it?

You see, the day before Thanksgiving until the day after the New Year was the “quiet” time in my family growing up. As an only child, for good or bad, I bore the brunt of the passive-aggressiveness and sometimes loud disagreements that my Mom and Dad often had.

My Father was biological because he is the reason I am here. My birth wasn’t a surprise; my parents had been married five years before I came along. Being a “Dad,” as I would think of a Dad, was foreign to him. However, I’m pretty sure that Dad never thought about the concept of having a kid and certainly not engaging in play or important time with one.

Therefore, there was always tension between Mom and Dad, and I always assumed it was because of me. I went through my childhood trying to be good, quiet, and out of sight when possible. There was always an underlying feeling of tension, worry, and stress. However, come the day before Thanksgiving until the day after New Year, there was an unwritten “truce.” Somehow they both enjoyed the season’s spirit, and the psychological “hostilities” ceased. And always, I breathed a sigh of relief. For me, a quietness without the feeling of it being passive-aggressive was a relief.

Kay, who comes from a family of five where there is a great deal of talking over one another, and chaos at every family event, feels right at home in those situations. I don’t. This Thanksgiving as I have for many in the past, I chose to go to Waffle House and buy lunch anonymously for several traveling folks while I sat and enjoyed a quiet meal, read a chapter of a good book, and breathed my sigh of relief.

I have come to better understand the challenges she has understanding me after 41-years of knowing one another and 37-years of marriage. Hopefully, she is doing the same. I thanked her for her concern.